


Beginnings

by MalikEyelashes (verucasalt123)



Series: Come Back Home [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Arguing, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Tears, Zayn Leaves One Direction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 01:18:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10843503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verucasalt123/pseuds/MalikEyelashes
Summary: Chapter Two - how it started





	Beginnings

_Yeah, I’m afraid_

They’d still been on their first tour when he and Zayn had gotten too drunk to concentrate on picking up a pretty girl at the party they were attending, so they’d called for a car and gone back to the hotel. They didn’t drink any more, but they talked a lot, into the small hours of the morning. 

All the while, the two of them had slowly moved incrementally closer to each other on the bed, and when Zayn caught the look in Harry’s eyes and realized he was having his own physical reaction, he’d asked, genuinely confused, “What _is_ this, Haz?” 

“You know what it is, Zed. It’s not like you haven’t ever felt this before”, Harry responded with a cheeky smile that showed off his dimples. 

“Right, yeah, but...not with...I mean, I know I never felt like this about a man before. Or a boy, even”, Zayn said, getting in his usual dig about Harry being younger. “It’s jus’...I don’t know. Different? Strange? I’m not really sure what to...um...what to do about it”, Zayn finished quietly. 

He honestly was feeling so mixed up inside; feeling this physical attraction to someone of his same sex – it really _hadn’t_ ever happened to him before. He looked up at Harry for some kind of answer, because he knew Harry had experience in this kind of situation.

Harry reached out very slowly and took one of Zayn’s hands into his, making sure to give him a chance to pull away if he wanted to. 

“Well, there’s no reason why we can’t just do what feels good, is there? We’re close, I know you’re a bit scared but if it turns out that you can’t deal with it, my feelings aren’t going to be hurt or anything. Say you were with a girl and you were attracted to her the way you’re feeling attracted to me right now. What would you do then?”

“I’d kiss her. Well, I’d ask if I could kiss her and if she said yes then that’s what I’d do.”

“All right. So, do you want to kiss me, then?”

Zayn knew without a doubt what the answer to that question was, but he couldn’t force himself to make the words come out of his mouth. Instead, he looked straight on at Harry and closed his eyes for a moment. It gave Harry yet another moment to admire those cheek-sweeping eyelashes that he’d noticed a hundred times before. Zayn opened his eyes again, looking straight on at Harry, and with a determined look, caught his bottom lip between two top teeth and slowly nodded.

“Look, I know this isn’t easy for you, but it’s important to me. You’ve never done this before and you still look nervous. So I need you to say it. Please, say it out loud so I can be sure, okay?”

Harry watched as Zayn took a deep breath, closed and opened his eyes again, then said, “Yeah, I – I want to kiss you.”

It took off from there, Harry leaning in close enough for Zayn to close the slight distance between them and press his lips to Harry’s in a soft, chaste kiss that lingered for a minute or two before he backed up a bit. His cheeks were flushed and there was hardly any of that beautiful shade of hazel in his eyes; his pupils were blown with lust.

Harry took this as a good sign, but still waited for further confirmation. “Did you like that, Zed?”

Without hesitation, Zayn seemed to have lost his self-consciousness and nodded enthusiastically. “I liked it, yeah, now I want you to kiss me. Is that all right?”

With a sly grin, Harry responded, “Of course it is”, as he pulled Zayn back toward him and placed one palm to the side of Zayn’s heated cheek. He pushed forward and kissed his bandmate back, but after a minute or so, he ran his tongue across Zayn’s lips and got an immediate response. Zayn opened his mouth and Harry softly and slowly pushed his tongue inside, thrilled that Zayn reciprocated right away.

The kiss was still slow and gentle but their tongues were touching, both of them moving their heads from side to side to get a better angle and make it last longer. 

When Harry finally pulled away with a tooth scraping against Zayn’s bottom lip, he knew what he had to do but wasn’t very happy about it. 

Zayn was still breathing heavily and his eyes were wild, which made it even more difficult for Harry, but it had to be done. 

“I think that’s enough for tonight, mate. Will you stay with me? I don’t want you to leave but I also don’t want to take this any farther just yet. No, don’t give me that pout, you know I’m right. We’ve got all the time in the world, there’s no reason to rush into anything you might not be ready for yet. I promise you that if we take this slowly, we’ll both appreciate it more when we go as far as we can.”

At that, Zayn’s eyes went wide again. It had really just crossed his mind where this was headed; what the end result would be. He started to feel nervous again and asked, “You mean – you mean like when we...when we have sex?”

Harry smiled and said, “Well, that’s where this kind of thing generally goes, and it’s where I’d like it to go. But there’s no rule that says we have to go that far very soon, or even ever. We’ll try a little more whenever we get a chance, and if you get to any point when you feel like you’ve had enough or don’t want to continue, then we stop. We can keep on with what you’re comfortable with or we can call the whole thing off, no harm no foul. Understand? No obligations, mate. We go as far as you want, but we take it slow, yeah?”

“I want to say no”, Zayn said with a smile, “but you’re right, and I think that’s the best thing we could do. You still want me to stay? To sleep next to you?”

Harry nodded and replied, “I’d like that very much, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Sharing a bed is really intimate, so it’s your call”

“Well I really would like to stay, but I, ah...well, I’ve got-”

Stopping him there with a chuckle, Harry said, “I know. Me too. Go on into the loo and take care of it, and when you’re done I’ll do the same. Then we’ll be comfortable and sleepy without going any farther physically tonight. Sound okay?”

Zayn was quite relieved by this suggestion and agreed right away. Once they’d both taken care of their own erections in private, they stripped down to just underwear and a t-shirt and got ready to go to sleep. It was a bit shocking for Zayn to realize just how much he’d thought they’d done that night but that neither of them had removed any clothing at all until now. 

He definitely got Harry’s explanation about how intimate sleeping together was when he woke up in the morning and found himself in the position of _little spoon_ , Harry’s chest against his back, their knees folded together and a strong arm thrown across his torso keeping them close. They definitely hadn’t fallen to sleep that way, so Harry must have done it while they were sleeping, either on purpose or just making himself comfortable. 

Zayn had to admit that waking up like that made him feel safe and well cared for, so he wasn’t going to complain.


End file.
